Dave Barry In Cyberspace
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Dave Barry In Cyberspace
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Release Date : 2010-09-29
Dave Barry In Cyberspace written by Dave Barry and has been published by Ballantine Books this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-09-29 with Humor categories.
"RELENTLESSLY FUNNY . . . BARRY SHINES." --People A self-professed computer geek who actually does Windows 95, bestselling humorist Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious hard drive via the information superhighway--and into the very heart of cyberspace, asking the provocative question: If God had wanted us to be concise, why give us so many fonts? Inside you'll find juicy bytes on How to Buy and Set Up a Computer; Step One: Get Valium Nerdstock in the Desert; Or: Bill Gates Is Elvis Software: Making Your Computer Come Alive So It Can Attack You Word Processing: How to Press an Enormous Number of Keys Without Ever Actually Writing Anything Selected Web Sites, including Cursing in Swedish, Deformed Frog Pictures, and The Toilets of Melbourne, Australia And much, much more! "VERY FUNNY . . . After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of the book as a kind of screen saver for your brain." --New York Times Book Review
Homes And Other Black Holes
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Release Date : 2010-07-28
Homes And Other Black Holes written by Dave Barry and has been published by Ballantine Books this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-07-28 with Humor categories.
"Mr. Barry is the funniest man in America and we should encourage him." --The New York Times Book Review THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME--EXCEPT IN A SELLER'S MARKET At long last, Dave Barry, the dean of everything, lets you in on the deepest, darkest mysteries of life and answers your hysterical home purchase questions like they've never been answered before: What's the best way to determine a realistic price range? Take your total family income, including coins that have fallen behind the bureau, and any projected future revenue you have been notified about via personalized letters from Mr. Ed McMahon stating that you may already have won 14 million dollars. Then, multiply by something other than six. Can you recommend a good mortgage? There are several kinds: Fixed Rate, Variable Rate, and the bank's secret weapons, the Party Hat Mortgage and the Mortgage of the Living Dead. How can I avoid spending money on do-it-yourself homeowner's projects? Find a contractor. Their silent motto is "We Never Show Up." The Romans lived among the ruins. You must too. Is there a secret to having a beautiful lawn? Yes and no. If you fail to feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die. However, if you feed, fertilize, and water your lawn, it will die.
Claw Your Way To The Top
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Rodale
Release Date : 1986
Claw Your Way To The Top written by Dave Barry and has been published by Rodale this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1986 with Humor categories.
A humorous guide with valuable advice and tips for moving up the corporate ladder.
Dave Barry Talks Back
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Crown Archetype
Release Date : 2010-12-29
Dave Barry Talks Back written by Dave Barry and has been published by Crown Archetype this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-12-29 with Humor categories.
Yet another collection of Barry wit and wisdom by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and the author of Dave Barry Turns 40.
Dave Barry Slept Here
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Fawcett
Release Date : 1990
Dave Barry Slept Here written by Dave Barry and has been published by Fawcett this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1990 with History categories.
The syndicated humor columnist offers simple and wildly humorous solutions to the problems of educating Americans on their nation's history.
Dave Barry S Complete Guide To Guys
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
Release Date : 2000
Dave Barry S Complete Guide To Guys written by Dave Barry and has been published by Random House Digital, Inc. this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2000 with American wit and humor categories.
This humorous guide to men looks at the quirks, habits and thought processes common to them all.
Boogers Are My Beat
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Crown Archetype
Release Date : 2003-09-23
Boogers Are My Beat written by Dave Barry and has been published by Crown Archetype this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2003-09-23 with Humor categories.
The New York Times calls him “the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide. In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on: • The scientific search for the world’s funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word “weasel”) • RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot • Outwitting “smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts • Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida without ‘duh’”) • The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating • The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui • The choice between death and taxes And much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11. Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh. Also available as an eBook
You Can Date Boys When You Re Forty
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Penguin
Release Date : 2014-03-04
You Can Date Boys When You Re Forty written by Dave Barry and has been published by Penguin this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2014-03-04 with Humor categories.
A brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times–bestselling author of Insane City. In his New York Times–bestselling I’ll Mature When I’m Dead, Dave Barry embarked on the treacherous seas of adulthood, to hilarious results. What comes next? Parenthood, of course, and families. In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he’s serious about that title: “When my daughter can legally commence dating—February 24, 2040—I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased”) to funeral instructions (“I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner”), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father’s ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert (“It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers”). Let’s face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide!
Dave Barry S Money Secrets
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Crown Archetype
Release Date : 2006-01-17
Dave Barry S Money Secrets written by Dave Barry and has been published by Crown Archetype this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2006-01-17 with Humor categories.
Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: • How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies. What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys. —from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book” Also available as a Crown eBook.
Dave Barry Is From Mars And Venus
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Author : Dave Barry
language : en
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group (NY)
Release Date : 1997
Dave Barry Is From Mars And Venus written by Dave Barry and has been published by Crown Publishing Group (NY) this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1997 with Humor categories.
Dave Barry reveals the shocking secrets of his biplanetary identity in a transparent attempt to get on some afternoon talk shows and sell a few extra copies of this latest collection of his funniest syndicated columns. Maybe you read a really funny Dave Barry column and really, really meant to save it, but we all know how that goes: out with the rest of the recyclables. Or maybe you didn't get around to reading the newspaper one day and wondered if you missed the most hilarious Dave Barry column of all time. Well, that's why some smart marketing person invented "best of" collections, and that's why you need Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus. It's got Dave's coverage of the Olympics, featuring an account of his participation with the U.S. synchronized swim team: "Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow." Also on hand are Dave's unfortunate appearance on Wheel of Fortune, his (non)lunch with Hillary Rodham Clinton, what happened when he shot a Gymnast Barbie doll out of a potato gun, the last word on turkey rectums, and much, much more from a guy who knows where he's coming from. Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and the best-selling author of Dave Barry in Cyberspace (Crown, 1996), Dave Barry's Guide to Guys, Dave Barry Turns 40 (Crown, 1990), and other books. He lives in Miami, Florida. First, a few words about the title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin Thighs in 30 Days, for example. Also The Bible. Another restriction was that the publisher wanted a title with my name in it. Over the years, most of my book titles have had my name in them (Dave Barry Turns 40, DaveBarry Turns 41, Dave Barry Develops a Nasal Polyp, etc.) I realize this sounds egotistical, but it's not my idea. I'd be a lot happier if the book titles had a name with more appeal to the mass public, like Stephen King, or The Beatles. If it weren't for the potential legal hassles, this book would be called something like Develop Washboard Abs in One Hour with John Grisham and Madonna (As Seen on Oprah). Anyway, the first title actually considered for this book was Another Damn Dave Barry Book. I liked that one, because it was punchy, yet at the same time it said absolutely nothing. But then Crown changed its mind and decided against this title, presumably on the grounds that the word damn would offend some people, who would therefore not buy the book. Of course you could argue that this was a good reason to use the title, because people who'd be offended by the word damn would probably suffer cerebral hemorrhages if they read the book's actual contents.