In Fifty Years We Ll All Be Chicks
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In Fifty Years We Ll All Be Chicks
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Author : Adam Carolla
language : en
Publisher: Crown Archetype
Release Date : 2010-11-02
In Fifty Years We Ll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and has been published by Crown Archetype this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-11-02 with Humor categories.
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. ADAM CAROLLA is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Podcast, before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program "Dancing with the Stars". Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.
In Fifty Years We Ll All Be Chicks
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Author : Adam Carolla
language : en
Publisher: Crown
Release Date : 2011-05-17
In Fifty Years We Ll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and has been published by Crown this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2011-05-17 with Humor categories.
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.
Not Taco Bell Material
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Author : Adam Carolla
language : en
Publisher: Crown Pub
Release Date : 2012
Not Taco Bell Material written by Adam Carolla and has been published by Crown Pub this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2012 with Humor categories.
The popular podcaster and author of the best-selling In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks collects new favorite rants about things that drive him crazy, sharing stories from his underdog youth that offer insight into his views and career. 100,000 first printing.
Rich Man Poor Man
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Author : Adam Carolla
language : en
Publisher: Crown/Archetype
Release Date : 2012-01-17
Rich Man Poor Man written by Adam Carolla and has been published by Crown/Archetype this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2012-01-17 with Humor categories.
If you turn on the evening news or listen to NPR you’ll be bombarded with a non-stop parade of commentators pontificating on the ever expanding gap between the rich and the poor. But is the chasm really that wide? In Rich Man Poor Man, comedian and bestselling author Adam Carolla exposes the phenomena that are embraced by the really rich and the really poor--but never the middle class--like having an outdoor shower, wearing your pajamas all day, or always having your dog with you. Combining Adam's inimitable comedic voice and four-color illustrations by his friend Michael Narren, Rich Man Poor Man is a hilariously accurate look at what the people born with silver spoons in their mouths have in common with the people whose only utensils are plastic sporks stolen from a Shakey's.
President Me
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Author : Adam Carolla
language : en
Publisher: Harper Collins
Release Date : 2014-05-13
President Me written by Adam Carolla and has been published by Harper Collins this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2014-05-13 with Humor categories.
My fellow Americans, President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America. That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head. You're welcome in advance. Your future leader, Adam
Daddy Stop Talking
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Author : Adam Carolla
language : en
Publisher: HarperCollins
Release Date : 2015-05-26
Daddy Stop Talking written by Adam Carolla and has been published by HarperCollins this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2015-05-26 with Humor categories.
Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."
This Is A Book
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Author : Demetri Martin
language : en
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Release Date : 2011-04-25
This Is A Book written by Demetri Martin and has been published by Grand Central Publishing this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2011-04-25 with Humor categories.
From the renowned comedian, creator, star and executive producer/multiple title-holder of Comedy Central's Important Things with Demetri Martin comes a bold, original, and rectangular kind of humor book. Demetri's first literary foray features longer-form essays and conceptual pieces (such as Protagonists' Hospital, a melodrama about the clinic doctors who treat only the flesh wounds and minor head scratches of Hollywood action heroes), as well as his trademark charts, doodles, drawings, one-liners, and lists (i.e., the world views of optimists, pessimists and contortionists), Martin's material is varied, but his unique voice and brilliant mind will keep readers in stitches from beginning to end.
God No
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Author : Penn Jillette
language : en
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date : 2012-06-05
God No written by Penn Jillette and has been published by Simon and Schuster this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2012-06-05 with Humor categories.
The outspoken half of magic duo Penn & Teller presents an atheist reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments, discussing why doubt, skepticism, and wonder should be celebrated and offering humorous stories from his own experiences.
I D Like To Play Alone Please
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Author : Tom Segura
language : en
Publisher: Hachette UK
Release Date : 2022-06-14
I D Like To Play Alone Please written by Tom Segura and has been published by Hachette UK this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-06-14 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
A #2 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.
Guys Like Girls Who
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Author : Chad Eastham
language : en
Publisher: Tommy Nelson
Release Date : 2008-09-30
Guys Like Girls Who written by Chad Eastham and has been published by Tommy Nelson this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2008-09-30 with Young Adult Nonfiction categories.
Every girl has wondered how they need to act or what they need to do to get a certain boy's attention. Now they can know! Chad Eastham will encourage girls to be confident in who they are and Whose they are. Girls need to know that they are treasures to be adored and that how she feels about herself is how guys will treat her. Chapter titles add fun and interest to this life-altering message. Guys Like Girls Who . . . Wear Jeans (comfortable with who they are and Whose they are) Know the Future (understand there is a 96% chance this is not the boy they will marry so don't act like they are) Leave Us Alone (have their own hobbies) Can Spell (can say "no") Eat Tofu (live a healthy lifestyle)
