Letters From A Nut
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Letters From A Nut
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Author : Ted L Nancy
language : en
Publisher: Random House
Release Date : 2011-10-31
Letters From A Nut written by Ted L Nancy and has been published by Random House this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2011-10-31 with Humor categories.
Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city... I operate the SOUP & SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME."... Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.
More Letters From A Nut
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Author : Ted L. Nancy
language : en
Publisher: Bantam
Release Date : 2013-07-31
More Letters From A Nut written by Ted L. Nancy and has been published by Bantam this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2013-07-31 with Humor categories.
Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.
Extra Nutty Even More Letters From A Nut
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Author : Ted Nancy
language : en
Publisher: Macmillan
Release Date : 2000-06-14
Extra Nutty Even More Letters From A Nut written by Ted Nancy and has been published by Macmillan this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2000-06-14 with Humor categories.
Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.
All New Letters From A Nut
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Author : Ted L. Nancy
language : en
Publisher: Crown Archetype
Release Date : 2010
All New Letters From A Nut written by Ted L. Nancy and has been published by Crown Archetype this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010 with Humor categories.
The best-selling author of Letters from a Nut presents a latest collection of whimsical correspondence between the author and the unwary establishments, organizations and government offices that attempted to respond to such requests as a hotel room for 300 hamsters and a 59-foot piece of bologna.
The Falconer
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Author : Dana Czapnik
language : en
Publisher: Faber & Faber
Release Date : 2019-04-16
The Falconer written by Dana Czapnik and has been published by Faber & Faber this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2019-04-16 with Fiction categories.
An iBooks Book of the Year 2019: 'Our favourite debut ... a glorious, empowering, coming of age NY story.''An electric debut' New York Times 'Exhilarating' Claire Messud 'Deeply affecting' Salman RushdieSeventeen-year-old Lucy Adler, a street-smart, trash-talking baller, is often the only girl on the public courts. Lucy's inner life is a contradiction. She's by turns quixotic and cynical, insecure and self-possessed and, despite herself, is in unrequited love with her best friend and pick-up teammate Percy, son of a prominent New York family who is trying to resist his upper crust fate.As Lucy questions accepted notions of success, bristling against her own hunger for male approval, she is drawn into the world of a pair of provocative female artists living in what remains of New York's bohemia. In her hit US debut, Dana Czapnik memorably captures the voice of a young woman in the first flush of freedom searching for an authentic way to live and love.
Dear Lumpy
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Author : Louise Mortimer
language : en
Publisher: Hachette UK
Release Date : 2013-04-04
Dear Lumpy written by Louise Mortimer and has been published by Hachette UK this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2013-04-04 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
'Dearest Lumpy, I hope you are plump and well. Your mother bashed her car yesterday and chooses to believe it was not her fault...' Roger Mortimer's witty dressing-downs and affectionate advice were not only directed at his wayward son, Lupin. Though better behaved than her mischievous older brother, Louise (aka 'Lumpy') still caused her father to reach for his typewriter. The trials and tribulations of Louise's days at boarding school, her eventful wedding to Hot¬Hand-Henry and the birth of his grandchildren are all accompanied by a sometimes chiding, but always loving letter. Between these milestones, Roger gives updates on the family, pets and the local gossip, holds forth on the weather, road safety, and even suggests the best way to make a gravy soup, all in his own inimitable style. With the same unique charm and often snort-inducing humour that made Dear Lupin a bestseller, Roger Mortimer guides and supports his daughter through every scrape she found herself in. Hilarious and instantly familiar, Dear Lumpy is a perfect example of the glorious art of letter writing, and the timeless relationship between father and daughter.
The Man With The Golden Typewriter
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Author : Fergus Fleming
language : en
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Release Date : 2015-10-08
The Man With The Golden Typewriter written by Fergus Fleming and has been published by Bloomsbury Publishing this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2015-10-08 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
'Constantly entertaining ... So much here to amuse and inform' Observer 'These friendly, knockabout letters are a treat' Sunday Telegraph 'Irresistible' New York Times ________________________ Before the world-famous Bond films came the world-famous novels. This book tells the story of the man who wrote them and how he created spy fiction's most compelling hero. In August 1952, Ian Fleming bought a gold-plated typewriter as a present to himself for finishing his first novel, Casino Royale. It marked in glamorous style the arrival of James Bond, agent 007, and the start of a career that saw Fleming become one of the world's most celebrated thriller writers. Before his death in 1964 he produced fourteen bestselling Bond books, two works of non-fiction and the famous children's story Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang. Fleming's output was matched by an equally energetic flow of letters. He wrote constantly, to his wife, publisher, editors, fans, critics and friends, including Raymond Chandler, Noël Coward and Somerset Maugham. His letters - witty and charming, funny and revealing - chart 007's progress: from badgering his publisher about his quota of free copies to apologising to readers for having mistaken a certain brand of perfume and for equipping Bond with the wrong kind of gun. Collected here together by his nephew, the letters provide a fascinating insight into the mind of the man who created a worldwide sensation. 'Splendid' New Statesman 'A revelation' Guardian 'A fascinating portrait of Bond's creator, revealing a man of keen wit and charm' Gentleman's Journal
Hello Junk Mail
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Author : Ted L. Nancy
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2008
Hello Junk Mail written by Ted L. Nancy and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2008 with American wit and humor categories.
Humour.
Collins Big Cat Phonics Sam And The Nut
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Author : Sheryl Webster
language : en
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
Release Date : 2010
Collins Big Cat Phonics Sam And The Nut written by Sheryl Webster and has been published by HarperCollins UK this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010 with Juvenile Fiction categories.
Sam the squirrel has seen a juicy looking nut at the top of a tree, but when he tries to knock it down, it falls to the ground and into the paws of a cat and a dog. Will he ever get his nut back? Beautiful illustrations by Giuditta Gaviraghi accompany this story. * Pink/1B - A simple story with a familiar setting * Text type: Fiction * Focus phonemes: s, a, t, i, p, n, m, c, g, k, ck, d, e, o, u * A story map on pages 14-15 helps children recap important events of the narrative and provides a wealth of speaking and listening opportunities
Nut Tree
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Author : Diane Power Zimmerman
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2021-10-29
Nut Tree written by Diane Power Zimmerman and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2021-10-29 with categories.
Long before California became a world leader in wine and food, Nut Tree pioneered the idea of dining as, first and foremost, an experience. The food not only delighted the palate, but it also presented a visual feast. By 1952, customers experienced the bounty of farm-to-table, the nostalgia of grandma's homemade bread, a tamale of Old California, exotic tropical fruits, or stir-fried entrees inspired by Asian cultures. Later, customers sipped California wines along with fresh-from-the-farm foods. This epic story of a world-famous restaurant spans the twentieth century and tells how a California ranch grew into a renowned destination in Vacaville, California, fifty miles inland from San Francisco. Visitors came by land and by air knowing they would find surprises-something found nowhere else. They came to dine, purchase fresh baked goods, candies, unique gifts, or just to look at the art and enjoy the entertainment. While basking in the hospitality, customers came back again and again, making life-long friends with family and employees. Central to the story is the author's grandmother, Helen Harbison Power, who, as a newlywed along with her husband, Bunny, opened a fruit stand that grew into a multi-million-dollar roadside destination. For seventy-five years, Nut Tree defined Western food, mid-century design, and cutting-edge hospitality, attracting ordinary folks, and serving dignitaries alike, including Ronald Regan, Neil Armstrong, and Queen Elizabeth II. While many journalists have written articles about the rich history of Nut Tree, no one has written a five-generation retrospective. Diane Power Zimmerman draws from her own experiences as a founding family member growing up at Nut Tree and from the treasure trove of memorabilia--photos, stories, family histories, newspaper clippings, and letters. She reflects on how Nut Tree defied the odds and foreshadowed the future. Then, seemingly overnight, the future became a high-speed freeway and wall-to-wall shopping centers with an abundance of choice and fierce competition. Nut Tree, in all its complexity, could no longer compete and closed after seventy-five years.