The Funniest People In Comedy 250 Anecdotes

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The Funniest People In Comedy 250 Anecdotes

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher: Lulu.com
Release Date : 2015-03-25

The Funniest People In Comedy 250 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and has been published by Lulu.com this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2015-03-25 with Humor categories.

Paperback edition. This book is one-half of my previous book "The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes." This book contains 250 anecdotes about comedians, including this one: When Jack Benny was ill, he had to get shots in his backside twice a week. His nurse gave him his shots in alternate cheeks, but sometimes she had trouble remembering which cheek should receive the next shot. So finally Mr. Benny walked into the doctor's office, dropped his pants, and on one cheek was printed "Tues" and on the other, "Thurs."

The Funniest People In Comedy And Relationships

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2006

The Funniest People In Comedy And Relationships written by David Bruce and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2006 with Comedians categories.

The Funniest People In Families

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2022-09-24

The Funniest People In Families written by David Bruce and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-09-24 with categories.

This is a short, quick, and easy read. Some samples: 1) Just after the end of World War II, while country comedian Archie Campbell was still an enlisted man in the United States Navy, he hadn't seen his wife for a long time, so he asked Lieutenant Sam Bailey if a way could be arranged for him to see her. Therefore, Lieutenant Bailey asked Mr. Campbell to take an apparatus to Florida to have it repaired--of course, Mr. Campbell had his wife meet him in Florida. At the repair shop, Mr. Campbell asked how long it would take to have the apparatus repaired, and the technician assured him that it would be repaired by the very next day. This was bad news for Mr. Campbell and his wife, so he explained the situation to the technician, saying, "I haven't seen my wife in over a year. Take longer than that." The technician replied, "In that case, it will take at least a week." 2) One Christmas, Pope John XXIII went to a children's hospital to visit the patients. One child, Silvio Colagrande, had been blind, but could now see because a dying priest, Don Gnocchi, had willed his eyes to Silvio and the corneas had been transplanted. Upon seeing the Pope, Silvio called out, "I see you with Don Gnocchi's eyes." Another child, seven-year-old Carmine Gemma, had recently become blind as the result of an attack of meningitis. He told Pope John XXIII, "You're the Pope, I know, but I can't see you." The Pope held Carmine's hands for a while, then he murmured, "We are all blind, sometimes." 3) Anne Sexton once wrote a volume of poetry titled Love Poems. One poem was intended to be titled "Twenty-One Days Without You" because her career required her to spend that amount of time away from her husband. However, the title had to be changed to "Eighteen Days Without You" after her husband said to her, "I can't stand it any longer; you haven't been with me for days."

The Funniest People In Comedy And Relationships 500 Anecdotes

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher: Lulu.com
Release Date : 2006-09-01

The Funniest People In Comedy And Relationships 500 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and has been published by Lulu.com this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2006-09-01 with Humor categories.

This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) In his Answer Man column, film critic Roger Ebert answered a question by Matt Sandler about who was the world's most beautiful woman by saying that she was Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. In a later Answer Man column, a reader stated that Mr. Ebert should have answered the question by saying, "My wife." However, Mr. Ebert had a good reason for not answering the question that way: "Matt Sandler asked about women, not goddesses." 2) To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul's show for year--unopened.

The Funniest People Who Live Life

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher: Lulu.com
Release Date : 2015-09-28

The Funniest People Who Live Life written by David Bruce and has been published by Lulu.com this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2015-09-28 with Humor categories.

Print edition. This book contains 250 anecdotes, including these: 1) Like other satirists, Mort Sahl is angry and he wants other people to be angry. (Certainly we have enough things to be angry about, and getting angry about them may result in change.) He once advised, "You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candles and curse the darkness." Mr. Sahl was a good friend of jazz musician Paul Desmond, a sax player. Mr. Sahl once gave Mr. Desmond a cigarette lighter inscribed, "To the sound from the fury." 2) Comedian Pat Henning once toured England, then many years and a toupee later, toured England again. The toupee did its job-theater managers told him that he was much funnier than his father had been.

The Coolest People In Comedy

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2022-09-13

The Coolest People In Comedy written by David Bruce and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-09-13 with categories.

This is a short, quick, and easy read. Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK (humor is hard!), but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends. This book contains 250 anecdotes, including these: Starting out as a stand-up comedian can be tough. Dallas comedian Sherry Belle remembers getting laughs her first time on stage; unfortunately, the audience was laughing at all the wrong places. For example, she finished a joke, but the audience didn't laugh, so she said, "That was the punch line." That made the audience laugh. - While working at Darmstadt, Rudolf Bing knew a comedian who was completely bald, but had three wigs with different lengths of hair. The comedian would wear the short-haired wig for a while, then the medium-haired wig. When he finally put on the long-haired wig, he would tell everyone he needed a haircut. Whenever the comedian began to wear the short-haired wig again, everyone complimented him on his haircut. - Between 1935 and 1940, Buster Keaton was making films in foreign countries. Movies had sound then, so he recorded the movies in various languages, learning a sentence in one language and recording it, and then learning that sentence in another language and recording it, and so on. For one movie, he recorded the dialogue in French and in Spanish, and he did OK. But his German language instructor noticed a problem with his German: "Oh, I understand him very well, only he's speaking with a French-Spanish accent." - As a boy, W.C. Fields had a unique way of peddling newspapers. He juggled the folded newspapers, and he yelled out teasers about the stories inside the newspapers. However, he ignored regular news stories and instead boosted unusual stories, such as "Bronislaw Gimp acquires license for two-year-old sheepdog. Details on page 26."

The Funniest People In Movies

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2022-09-07

The Funniest People In Movies written by David Bruce and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-09-07 with categories.

This book contains 250 anecdotes about movies, including this one: Late in Peter Lorre's career, after he had begun to make bad films, a fan wrote him, "I would love to be tortured by you." Mr. Lorre wrote back, "You have been tortured enough by going to my pictures." This is a short, quick, and easy read. Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK, but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends. Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism. Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking. - In 1988, Jodie Foster won a Best Actress Oscar for her performance in The Accused. Following her acceptance speech, she joked backstage that she would immediately put the Oscar to good use: "I rented three videos last night ... and they said if I brought this in I would get them free." - Craig Russell, a Canadian female impersonator of genius, wrote and starred in the cult classic movie Outrageous. When the film was shown at the Virgin Islands Film Festival, Mr. Russell had the pleasure of winning awards for both Best Actor and Best Actress. A comedian, Mr. Russell used to say, "I'm a drag queen. I'm a transvestite. I'm a drug addict. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a homosexual. Other than that, I'm perfectly normal." He died of AIDS at the age of 42 on Oct. 30, 1990. - Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce and their families once ate breakfast together while traveling on a train. Mr. Rathbone excused himself from the table, picked up the morning paper, then began to leave the dining car. Ever-mischievous Mr. Bruce asked Cynthia, Mr. Rathbone's young daughter, "Darling, where's Daddy going?" Cynthia's answer filled the crowded dining car: "Daddy's going to do after-breakfast plop-plops." - Jack Palence excellently played a bad guy in the 1953 movie classic Shane. However, he was a bad horseman. After several tries, he made a perfect dismount, so director George Stevens used that shot in the movie every time Mr. Palence dismounted -- and, by running the film backward, every time Mr. Palence mounted. In addition, in one scene Mr. Palence was supposed to gallop into town. But Mr. Palence was such a poor horseman, he finally was told to walk the horse into town. (This scene works very well in the movie.)

The Funniest People In Theater

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2022-10-08

The Funniest People In Theater written by David Bruce and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-10-08 with categories.

This is a short, quick, and easy read. Some Sample Anecdotes: - As a young actress just starting in show business, Eve Arden quickly learned not to be absent minded. She once finished a play's first act, went to her dressing room, took off her costume and removed her makeup, and then left the theater to take a bus home -- only to find the theater manager running after her and yelling, "Second act!" She returned to the stage wearing galoshes and no makeup, where she discovered her fellow actors desperately ad-libbing lines such as "I saw her in the garden, I think" and "She'll probably be here any minute." - The great American scoundrel and playwright Wilson Mizner heard about a man in Reno who was executed by means of poison gas. When the warden asked him for his last request, he replied, "A gas mask." Mr. Mizner was shocked that a man with a sense of humor like that could be executed. - At one point, Lorraine Hansberry's writing of a play seemed to be going nowhere, so she threw the pages into the air, then left the room to get a broom to sweep the pages into the fire. When she returned, she found her husband gathering the pages together and putting them in order. A few days later, he set the pages before her, and she resumed writing the play. In 1959, the New York Drama Critics Circle named the play, A Raisin in the Sun, the Best Play of the Year. - A production of Bohème in Hamburg involved nudity. A young woman playing Euphémie, Schaunard's girlfriend, appeared completely nude to model for a picture and donned clothing only when Rodolfo worried that she might catch cold. At a dress rehearsal, things went fine until the nude actress appeared and the members of the orchestra tried to play their instruments in strange positions so they could turn around and look at the nude actress. Of course, this caused havoc with the music. The conductor, Nello Santi, solved this problem by asking the nude actress if she would walk to the end of the stage for a few moments so the members of the orchestra could look at her. She didn't mind, the members of the orchestra got a good look, and then the rest of the rehearsal proceeded smoothly. - In England, to "give someone the bird" means to boo them. On the New York opening night of Bitter Sweet, Noël Coward walked into Evelyn Laye's dressing room and presented her with a silver box. When she opened the box, a mechanical bird emerged, flapped its wings, and sang. Mr. Coward said, "I wanted to be the first to give you the bird."

The Funniest People In Television And Radio

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2022-09-06

The Funniest People In Television And Radio written by David Bruce and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-09-06 with categories.

This is a short, quick, and easy read. Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK, but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends. Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism. Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking. - Star Trek: The Experience can be seen at the Las Vegas Hilton. Among other attractions are actors portraying characters from the various Star Trek series. Many of the actors are very good, and they stay in character. For example, a famous Ferengi is Quark. When a fan yelled "Quark!" at an actor in a Ferengi costume, the actor sighed and said, "Billions of Ferengi in the Universe, and they [Hu-Mans] all think we are Quark!" The Ferengi are a notoriously acquisitive species, and Star Trek fan Kevin Wagner was shocked that an actor playing a Ferengi agreed to pose for free for a photograph with a fan. Therefore, Kevin quoted the 13th Rule of Acquisition to the Ferengi: "Anything worth doing is worth doing for money." However, the actor playing the Ferengi knew his stuff: "Don't quote the Rules of Acquisition to me, Hu-Man. Free publicity!" - George Burns and Gracie Allen had years of experience performing in vaudeville before they started doing their radio show. This long experience came in handy when mishaps occurred on their show. One day, the lights in the studio went out, and no one could read the script. On another occasion, Gracie accidentally dropped her script, and the pages scattered everywhere. Both times, they ignored the script. George simply asked, "Gracie, how's your brother?" -- and Gracie started one of their well-memorized and very funny vaudeville routines. - Comedian Soupy Sales used to collect portraits of United States Presidents and American founding fathers. On his TV show for children, he once told his young viewers to go through Mommy's purse and Daddy's wallet and mail him "the little green pieces of paper with pictures of George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Lincoln, and Jefferson on them." In return, he promised to send the children a postcard from Puerto Rico.

The Funniest People In Families Volume 2

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Author : David Bruce
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2022-09-25

The Funniest People In Families Volume 2 written by David Bruce and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-09-25 with categories.

This is a short, quick, and easy read. Some Sample Anecdotes: - John Steinbeck always toasted Ava Gardner whenever he began to drink. Here's the story: While Mr. Steinbeck was in Hollywood working as a scriptwriter, he got a call from Nunnally Johnson's wife inviting him to a party and asking if he would escort Ava Gardner. Mr. Steinbeck was agreeable, but he later received another call saying that Ms. Gardner was ill and could he escort Ann Southern instead. Once again, he was agreeable, and so he escorted Ms. Southern and her chaperone, Elaine Scott, to the party. Mr. Steinbeck and Ms. Southern dated a few times, but one night Ms. Southern was busy and so she asked him to take care of Elaine. Mr. Steinbeck took Elaine out, discovered he really liked her, and he later married her. That's why he always began his drinking by saying, "Here's to Ava Gardner." - Briefly, comedian Jay Leno was a member of the Boy Scouts. His scoutmaster was determined to get parents involved in the organization, although many of them did not want to get involved. The scoutmaster even gave Jay's father a bunch of merit badges and asked for help in administering tests and giving the merit badges out to the scouts. Reluctant to be involved, Jay's father asked the scouts, "What kind of tree is that over there?" Because apples were hanging from the tree's branches, they quickly identified the tree, and Jay's father started handing five or six merit badges to each scout -- including merit badges that had nothing to do with tree identification. When the scoutmaster saw the merit badges being worn by the scouts, he angrily started ripping them off the scouts' uniforms. Shortly thereafter, Jay stopped being a scout. - Sometimes, homosexuals are accepted by people who seem unlikely to accept them -- even people they have been warned not to come out to because it might kill them. A gay man from an Italian Catholic family was visiting his 81-year-old grandmother while she was watching soap operas, and suddenly she pointed to an actor and said, "Isn't he beautiful?" He looked surprised, so she said, "I'm not stupid, you know. I know you don't like girls." Then she smiled and added, "I watch all of the talk shows. I know what's going on in the world." Finally, the gay man was able to say, "Grandma, I'm gay, and I was afraid to tell you." She told him, "When you get to be my age, a lot of things don't bother you that used to bother you. You realize that a lot of things aren't important enough to get upset over. What's important is that people are happy." - Columnist Ann Landers once asked her female heterosexual readers whether they preferred cuddling to the act of lovemaking. A majority preferred cuddling. Curious, writer Gail Sausser asked a lesbian friend whether she preferred cuddling to the act of lovemaking. The friend was shocked by the question: "What do you mean? Cuddling is part of the act -- sex is affectionate!"