The Official Love And Marriage Jokebook
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The Official Love And Marriage Jokebook
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Author : Rob Loughran
language : en
Publisher: CreateSpace
Release Date : 2013-06-26
The Official Love And Marriage Jokebook written by Rob Loughran and has been published by CreateSpace this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2013-06-26 with Humor categories.
Doris said to her sister, “I have to be extremely careful not to get pregnant.”“But I thought Bill got a vasectomy?”“Precisely.”What's the best thing to do when you see your wife staggering around on your front lawn?Shoot her again.Why are men smarter when they're making love?They are plugged into a fucking know-it-all.What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?They're both fun to ride, but you never want your friends to see you on one.A bride-to-be knows exactly what type of music she wants played at her wedding. She auditions 20 pianists before this musician plays an original composition that is precisely what she was looking for. “That was perfect,” she says. “What do you call it?”He says, “Drive Me to Capistrano Baby, Because That's Where You're Gonna Swallow.” “Yuck. What a nasty title; but it is a beautiful song, play me another.” He does and this one is even better. “That's magnificent. What do you call it?”“Bend Over and Touch Your Ankles Baby—I'm a Backdoor Man.” “You're hired,” she says, “but for God's sake don't tell anyone the names of your songs.”The wedding day comes and the guests at the reception are more than impressed with the music. But the pianist has been drinking an ocean of champagne. He has to go to the bathroom and is so drunk he botches the job. He cleans up as best he can and returns to the piano. Halfway there he's stopped by the bride who says, “Do you know there's shit on your shoes and your zipper's down?”“Know it?” he says. “Bitch, I wrote it.”What do you call a couple using the rhythm, will power, or withdrawal methods of birth control?Parents.A woman told her friend, “I just made my ex-husband a millionaire.”“What was he before?”“A billionaire.”Why do people get married?So they have someone to blame.What's the difference between a wife and mistress?About 45 pounds.What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?About 45 minutes.Samantha discontinued sex to answer the phone. When she returned to bed her partner asked, “Who was that?”“My husband.”“What does he want?”“He just wanted to tell me he'll be home late because he went bowling with you.”A man propositions a hooker. He offers $10. She insists on $50. That's too steep for him so he decides to go home to his wife. They fuck and then walk down to the local bar for a drink. They pass the hooker who says, “See what a lousy $10 gets you?”A husband said, “I've devised a new sexual position that will save our marriage.”The wife said, “What is it?”“Back-to-back.”“It's impossible to have sex back-to-back.”“Sure we can. I've persuaded the new neighbors to join us.”At a divorce recovery workshop a man stands up and says, “My ex-wife is a decent, honest person and a great mother to our children. But I'm into kinky sex—I mean the kinkier the better—and she was a straight lay. It put our marriage under so much strain it fell apart.”A lady stands up and says, “Same with me. And I live around the corner.”So they leave and go to her place. They do some kissy-face and get naked on the couch and she says, “I'm ready.”“Me too.”She runs to her bedroom and assembles all her gear: leather bra and thong, whip and handcuffs, nipple clips and a battery powered dildo that could propel a bass boat. She returns to the living room and sees him dressed and leaving. “Hey! Where are you going? I thought you liked it kinky?”He says, “Lady, I just fucked your cat and shit in your purse, what the hell do you want?”Why do women have periods?Because they deserve them.After making love the bride slapped her husband's face. “What was that for?” he asked.“For being a lousy fucking lover.”He slapped her back. “What was that for?” she asked.“For knowing the difference.”What's the definition of confidence?Your wife finds you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, “You're next bitch.”Many more tasteless and filthy love and marriage jokes inside.
Relationship Love And Marriage Jokes Book
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Author : Juicy Quotes
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2019-12-19
Relationship Love And Marriage Jokes Book written by Juicy Quotes and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2019-12-19 with categories.
This relationship, love and marriage joke book is perfect for lovers and couples. Great funny present for Valentines Day, anniversaries and birthdays to give to your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband and wife. Enjoy over 60 pages of funny jokes and puns with your loved one. Now available in the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Germany and many other countries. Start enjoy lots of laughs today!
Just Joking For Married People Funny Jokes
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Author : Wiliam Tavaris
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2020-07-17
Just Joking For Married People Funny Jokes written by Wiliam Tavaris and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2020-07-17 with categories.
Perfect Gift for your wife/husband! Jokes are power. This super funny adult joke book is NOT for kids! Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people's faces. Jokes make us laugh. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many of us also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find really good jokes today. This book, love and marriage joke book is perfect for lovers and couples. Great funny present for Valentine's Day, anniversaries, and birthdays to give to your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, and wife. Enjoy over 25 pages of funny jokes and puns with your loved one. Good MattevCover professional design 8.5x11 inch 30 pages ( 1 page 2 jokes ) great gift for dogs lovers and owners Start enjoy lots of laughs today!
The Best Joke Book Period
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Author : William Donohue
language : en
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date : 2014-11
The Best Joke Book Period written by William Donohue and has been published by Simon and Schuster this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2014-11 with Humor categories.
Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!
The Biggest Joke Book Ever
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Author : Jack Jacoby
language : en
Publisher: Trafford Publishing
Release Date : 2008-09
The Biggest Joke Book Ever written by Jack Jacoby and has been published by Trafford Publishing this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2008-09 with Humor categories.
An amazing collection of thousands of jokes - great for any occasions or just to get a great belly-laugh.
The Unofficial Joke Book Of New Sms
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Author : Kuldeep Saluja
language : en
Publisher: Diamond Pocket Books Pvt Ltd
Release Date : 2015-01-24
The Unofficial Joke Book Of New Sms written by Kuldeep Saluja and has been published by Diamond Pocket Books Pvt Ltd this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2015-01-24 with Humor categories.
Welcome to the world of Billoo Badshah, the Badshah of Laughter. Billoo Badshah, a series compiliation of best jokes of the world, is for laughter moments, for love moments, for high moments, for lonely moments, for funny moments, for friendly moments, for happy moments and for all the moments. Be happy and cheerful with this book full of abudant joy, laughter and satire.
The Unofficial Joke Book Of Midnight Sms
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Author : Kuldeep Saluja
language : en
Publisher: Diamond Pocket Books (P) Ltd.
Release Date :
The Unofficial Joke Book Of Midnight Sms written by Kuldeep Saluja and has been published by Diamond Pocket Books (P) Ltd. this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on with categories.
The Big Fat South African Joke Book
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Author :
language : en
Publisher: Penguin Random House South Africa
Release Date : 2012-03-12
The Big Fat South African Joke Book written by and has been published by Penguin Random House South Africa this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2012-03-12 with Humor categories.
Koos is sitting in a bar. Each time he orders a drink he takes out his wallet, removes a photograph and stares at it. ‘Who’s the photo of?’ asks the barman, serving Koos his eighth Klippies and Coke. ‘My wife. When she starts to look pretty I’ll know I’ve had enough.’ What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead rugby referee in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. WARNING: Not for the faint-hearted or Mother Grundys of this world! Politically incorrect, irreverent and laugh-out-loud funny, The Big Fat South African Joke Book covers a range of topics close to every South African’s heart: from Patricia Lewis to Robert Mugabe; from rugby referees to Kamp Staaldraad; from picking up chicks to marriage; from infidelity to divorce; from Little Bongani to Little Koos and Little Gertruide; from school days to Varsity; and from the mouth of babes to the Pearly Gates of Heaven. These and many other jokes will tickle your funny bone and keep you chuckling for hours.
Bob Smith S Clown Song And Joke Book
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Author : Bob SMITH (Humorist.)
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 1865
Bob Smith S Clown Song And Joke Book written by Bob SMITH (Humorist.) and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1865 with categories.
Internet Joke Book
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Author : Keith Evans
language : en
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Release Date : 2000-09-21
Internet Joke Book written by Keith Evans and has been published by Xlibris Corporation this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2000-09-21 with Fiction categories.
The Internet Joke Book is filled with short jokes, witty humor, and bizarre stories that were gathered from around the United States and abroad, via the Internet and other sources, as well from friends and family. I should also point out, before going any further, that much of the credit for this book should go to my daughter. If not for her giving me the idea, and placing my other two books on hold, a book of this make-up may have never existed. Beyond the books jacket, you will run across page after humorous page of sidesplitting witticisms. They are of old and new, nevertheless, the old still being very hilarious and the new even more uproarious...after all, we have until now, not read them. Various contents of the Internet Joke Book may not be suitable for younger readers. This book was not tailor- made for the juvenile reader, however, this book, as any book of this nature, should rest in the judgement of the parent. I myself, being a single parent, would not recommend that the contents of this book be disclosed to any teenager under the age of seventeen, or either the adult contents be block out by the parent or guardian. Nevertheless, there may be parents who chose to allow their children as young as fifteen and sixteen to take in the contents of this book, again this is not recommended by the author. I can only hope my readers enjoy and have as much fun with this book as we did, gathering and putting it together. Once my daughter had told our friends, neighbors and relatives of what we were doing, we had more help than we could handle. We are now working on a second book, The Internet Joke Book Volume Two, which will consist of much more and newer witticisms. I hope all will appreciate the first book, and be patient enough to wait and read the second.
