Funniest Thing You Never

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Funniest Thing You Never Said 2

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Author : Rosemarie Jarski
language : en
Publisher: Random House
Release Date : 2010-09-02

Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 written by Rosemarie Jarski and has been published by Random House this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-09-02 with Humor categories.

The bestselling, blockbusting, bumper book of humorous quotations rides back into town with 6,000 more hilariously funny quotes. From times past to the modern day, classic funnies to contemporary wit, The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 delivers an unbeatable selection of fantastic and hilarious quotes on every subject under the sun. Featuring topics as diverse as celebrity to religion, and including a cast of quotees ranging from Oscar Wilde to Homer Simpson, there's something here for everyone with a sense of humour. 'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.' - Samuel Johnson 'Glastonbury was very wet and muddy. There was trench foot, dysentery, peaches ... all the Geldof daughters.' - Sean Lock 'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.' - Richard Nixon 'I've had more women than most people have noses.' - Steve Martin 'I have the simplest tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.' - Oscar Wilde 'Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson 'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx 'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueen

Funniest Thing You Never

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Author : Rosemari Jarski
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2010-09-02

Funniest Thing You Never written by Rosemari Jarski and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-09-02 with categories.

Dim Wit

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Author : Rosemarie Jarski
language : en
Publisher: Random House
Release Date : 2008-12-05

Dim Wit written by Rosemarie Jarski and has been published by Random House this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2008-12-05 with Humor categories.

'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd

Afternoon Men

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Author : Anthony Powell
language : en
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
Release Date : 2014-11-07

Afternoon Men written by Anthony Powell and has been published by University of Chicago Press this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2014-11-07 with Fiction categories.

Written from a vantage point both high and deliberately narrow, the early novels of the late British master Anthony Powell nevertheless deal in the universal themes that would become a substantial part of his oeuvre: pride, greed, and the strange drivers of human behavior. More explorations of relationships and vanity than plot-driven narratives, Powell’s early works reveal the stirrings of the unequaled style, ear for dialogue, and eye for irony that would reach their caustic peak in his epic, A Dance to the Music of Time. In Afternoon Men, the earliest and perhaps most acid of Powell’s novels, we meet the museum clerk William Atwater, a young man stymied in both his professional and romantic endeavors. Immersed in Atwater’s coterie of acquaintances—a similarly unsatisfied cast of rootless, cocktail-swilling London sophisticates—we learn of the conflict between his humdrum work life and louche social scene, of his unrequited love, and, during a trip to the country, of the absurd contrivances of proper manners. A satire that verges on nihilism and a story touched with sexism and equal doses self-loathing and self-medication, AfternoonMen has a grim edge to it. But its dialogue sparks and its scenes grip, and for aficionados of Powell, this first installment in his literary canon will be a welcome window onto the mind of a great artist learning his craft.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To School

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Author : Davide Cali
language : en
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Release Date : 2015-03-03

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To School written by Davide Cali and has been published by Chronicle Books this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2015-03-03 with Juvenile Fiction categories.

First, some giant ants steal breakfast. Then there are the evil ninjas, massive ape, mysterious mole people, giant blob, and countless other daunting (and astonishing) detours along the way to school. Are these excuses really why this student is late? Or is there another explanation that is even more outrageous than the rest? From Davide Cali and Benjamin Chaud, the critically acclaimed author/illustrator team behind I Didn't Do My Homework Because . . . comes a fast-paced, actionpacked, laugh-out-loud story about finding the way to school despite the odds—and the unbelievable oddness! Plus, this is the fixed format version, which will look almost identical to the print version. Additionally for devices that support audio, this ebook includes a read-along setting.

Judgments In Vacation

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Author : Edward Abbott Parry
language : en
Publisher: BoD – Books on Demand
Release Date : 2023-09-11

Judgments In Vacation written by Edward Abbott Parry and has been published by BoD – Books on Demand this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2023-09-11 with Fiction categories.

Reproduction of the original.

It S Kind Of A Funny Story

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Author : Ned Vizzini
language : en
Publisher: Disney Electronic Content
Release Date : 2010-09-25

It S Kind Of A Funny Story written by Ned Vizzini and has been published by Disney Electronic Content this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-09-25 with Juvenile Fiction categories.

Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

The Sensible Girl S Guide To Emigrating Elegantly

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Author : Sally Corner
language : en
Publisher: A&C Black
Release Date : 2010-02-15

The Sensible Girl S Guide To Emigrating Elegantly written by Sally Corner and has been published by A&C Black this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2010-02-15 with Self-Help categories.

Business writing can be particularly difficult to get right and far too many people resort to deathly-dull jargon and nonsense buzz words to try to get their point across. In Twenty-six ways of looking at a blackberry, John Simmons proposes that in order to create business communication that is truly engaging, writing needs to be more expressive and adventurous for young, aspiring brands as well as big, corporate brands. The book explores ways that everyone involved with communicating a brand's values - marketers, advertisers, PR people and so on - can focus on the potential of language to reach their goals. To illustrate this, the author has taken a piece of generic business writing - the 'base text' - and rewritten it in 26 different ways, each following a constraint. For example, as a fairy story; without using the letter 'e'; written in the style of Dickens; as a letter to a friend; as a six word story; as a sonnet. In each case, Simmons looks at what effect that particular constraint has on the writing, how it helps or hinders, and what lessons can be drawn from the exercise that can be applied to business writing in different situations.

Everything Sad Is Untrue

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Author : Daniel Nayeri
language : en
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Release Date : 2020-08-25

Everything Sad Is Untrue written by Daniel Nayeri and has been published by Chronicle Books this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2020-08-25 with Juvenile Fiction categories.

A National Indie Bestseller An NPR Best Book of the Year A New York Times Best Book of the Year An Amazon Best Book of the Year A Booklist Editors' Choice A BookPage Best Book of the Year A NECBA Windows & Mirrors Selection A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year A Wall Street Journal Best Book of the Year A Today.com Best of the Year PRAISE "A modern masterpiece." —The New York Times Book Review "Supple, sparkling and original." —The Wall Street Journal "Mesmerizing." —TODAY.com "This book could change the world." —BookPage "Like nothing else you've read or ever will read." —Linda Sue Park "It hooks you right from the opening line." —NPR SEVEN STARRED REVIEWS ★ "A modern epic." —Kirkus Reviews, starred review ★ "A rare treasure of a book." —Publishers Weekly, starred review ★ "A story that soars." —The Bulletin, starred review ★ "At once beautiful and painful." —School Library Journal, starred review ★ "Raises the literary bar in children's lit." —Booklist, starred review ★ "Poignant and powerful." —Foreword Reviews, starred review ★ "One of the most extraordinary books of the year." —BookPage, starred review A sprawling, evocative, and groundbreaking autobiographical novel told in the unforgettable and hilarious voice of a young Iranian refugee. It is a powerfully layered novel that poses the questions: Who owns the truth? Who speaks it? Who believes it? "A patchwork story is the shame of the refugee," Nayeri writes early in the novel. In an Oklahoman middle school, Khosrou (whom everyone calls Daniel) stands in front of a skeptical audience of classmates, telling the tales of his family's history, stretching back years, decades, and centuries. At the core is Daniel's story of how they became refugees—starting with his mother's vocal embrace of Christianity in a country that made such a thing a capital offense, and continuing through their midnight flight from the secret police, bribing their way onto a plane-to-anywhere. Anywhere becomes the sad, cement refugee camps of Italy, and then finally asylum in the U.S. Implementing a distinct literary style and challenging western narrative structures, Nayeri deftly weaves through stories of the long and beautiful history of his family in Iran, adding a richness of ancient tales and Persian folklore. Like Scheherazade of One Thousand and One Nights in a hostile classroom, Daniel spins a tale to save his own life: to stake his claim to the truth. EVERYTHING SAD IS UNTRUE (a true story) is a tale of heartbreak and resilience and urges readers to speak their truth and be heard.

We Are Never Meeting In Real Life

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Author : Samantha Irby
language : en
Publisher: Faber & Faber
Release Date : 2019-01-15

We Are Never Meeting In Real Life written by Samantha Irby and has been published by Faber & Faber this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2019-01-15 with Humor categories.

'Irby might be our great bard of quarantine.' New York TimesIn this painfully funny collection, Samantha Irby captures powerful emotional truths while chronicling the rubbish bin she calls her life. From an ill-fated pilgrimage to Nashville to scatter her estranged father's ashes to awkward sexual encounters to the world's first completely honest job application, and more, sometimes you just have to laugh, even when your life is permanently pear-shaped.'I cannot remember the last time I was so moved by a book. As close to perfect as an essay collection can get.' Roxane Gay'Hilarious. I love it.' Candice Carty-Williams'Samantha Irby is stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.' Jia TolentinoDon't miss Samantha Irby's newest book: the number one bestselling Wow, No Thank You. is available now.