How Not To Kill Your Baby
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How Not To Kill Your Baby
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Author : Jacob Sager Weinstein
language : en
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Release Date : 2012-03-20
How Not To Kill Your Baby written by Jacob Sager Weinstein and has been published by Andrews McMeel Publishing this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2012-03-20 with Humor categories.
"This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.
Don T Kill Your Baby
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Author : Jacqueline H. Wolf
language : en
Publisher: Ohio State University Press
Release Date : 2001
Don T Kill Your Baby written by Jacqueline H. Wolf and has been published by Ohio State University Press this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2001 with Breast feeding categories.
""An outstanding contribution to the history of medicine and gender, "Don't Kill Your Baby" should be on the bookshelves of historians and health professionals as well as anyone interested in the way in which medical practice can be shaped by external forces." -Margaret Marsh, Rutgers University How did breastfeeding-once accepted as the essence of motherhood and essential to the well-being of infants-come to be viewed with distaste and mistrust? Why did mothers come to choose artificial food over human milk, despite the health risks? In this history of infant feeding, Jacqueline H. Wolf focuses on turn-of-the-century Chicago as a microcosm of the urbanizing United States. She explores how economic pressures, class conflict, and changing views of medicine, marriage, efficiency, self-control, and nature prompted increasing numbers of women and, eventually, doctors to doubt the efficacy and propriety of breastfeeding. Examining the interactions among women, dairies, and health care providers, Wolf uncovers the origins of contemporary attitudes toward and myths about breastfeeding. Jacqueline H. Wolf is assistant professor in the history of medicine, Department of Social Medicine, Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine, and adjust assistant professor, Women's Studies Program, Ohio University.
101 Ways To Not Kill Your Baby
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Author : Brad Gosse
language : en
Publisher: Independently Published
Release Date : 2023-04-24
101 Ways To Not Kill Your Baby written by Brad Gosse and has been published by Independently Published this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2023-04-24 with categories.
Are you searching for the perfect gag, baby shower gift? This is a joke book! Welcome to my essential dark humor guide for new parents: '101 Ways To Not Kill Your Baby'. Written by a comedian, this guide is packed with cautionary tales that highlight the potential dangers that babies can face, and practical advice on how to keep them safe. With a dark and humorous tone, the guide covers a range of scenarios that all parents should be aware of, such as hazards in construction zones, outdoor areas, and even at home with household pets. From protecting your baby from poisonous animals to keeping harmful substances out of reach, this guide covers all the essential tips and tricks to help you protect your little one.
How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids
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Author : Jancee Dunn
language : en
Publisher: Random House
Release Date : 2017-03-23
How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids written by Jancee Dunn and has been published by Random House this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2017-03-23 with Family & Relationships categories.
‘Clever, honest and hilarious . . . her book should become a baby shower classic.’ Publishers Weekly ‘Funny, honest and helpful.’ Grazia ‘Loads of useful, achievable advice.’ The Pool How did I become the ‘expert’ at changing a nappy? Jancee Dunn wondered. This, combined with a lack of sleep, a suddenly unfair division of household chores and her husband’s new found passion for very long bike rides, meant that Jancee found it hard to look at her well-meaning, clever, funny husband playing with his iPhone without feeling a white-hot rage. Like many expectant parents, they’d spent weeks researching the safest car seat but little time thinking about the titanic impact the baby would have on their marriage — and the way their marriage would affect their child. Tired of having the same fights over and over, Dunn consults the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of renowned sex and couples therapists, canvasses friends and parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an ‘explosive situation’. Could it be that the person who got her into this position is the ally she'd forgotten she had? Funny, honest and actually helpful, this book can’t do the washing but it might just save your marriage.
The Common Law Inside The Female Body
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Author : Anita Bernstein
language : en
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Release Date : 2019
The Common Law Inside The Female Body written by Anita Bernstein and has been published by Cambridge University Press this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2019 with Law categories.
Explains why lawyers seeking gender progress from primary legal materials should start with the common law.
Nutshell
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Author : Ian McEwan
language : en
Publisher: Anchor
Release Date : 2016-09-13
Nutshell written by Ian McEwan and has been published by Anchor this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2016-09-13 with Fiction categories.
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A “suspenseful, dazzlingly clever and gravely profound” (The Washington Post) novel that brilliantly recasts Shakespeare and lends new weight to the age-old question of Hamlet's hesitation, from the Booker Prize winner and bestselling author of Atonement. Trudy has been unfaithful to her husband, John. What’s more, she has kicked him out of their marital home, a valuable old London town house, and in his place is his own brother, the profoundly banal Claude. The illicit couple have hatched a scheme to rid themselves of her inconvenient husband forever. But there is a witness to their plot: the inquisitive, nine-month-old resident of Trudy’s womb. As Trudy’s unborn son listens, bound within her body, to his mother and his uncle’s murderous plans, he gives us a truly new perspective on our world, seen from the confines of his. Don’t miss Ian McEwan’s new novel, Lessons, coming in September!
How Not To Kill Your Children
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Author : Kenneth Charles Hutchin
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 1968
How Not To Kill Your Children written by Kenneth Charles Hutchin and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1968 with Child rearing categories.
Reports Of Committees
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Author : United States. Congress. Senate
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 1877
Reports Of Committees written by United States. Congress. Senate and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1877 with United States categories.
How Not To Kill
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Author : Nealy Brown; Sarah Tierney; Shannon Hunt
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 2013-09-18
How Not To Kill written by Nealy Brown; Sarah Tierney; Shannon Hunt and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2013-09-18 with Family & Relationships categories.
"Out of all the relationship books I’ve read, this one's at the top of my list! The first book I would recommend to anyone. It's funny, inspiring, with incredibly powerful ideas." – Dr. Mike Nichols “The principles in this book have literally changed my life, and given me practical tools for every relationship. I am confident it can do the same for you, wherever you are on your journey." – Melissa Drobnak “This book gives hope to the hopeless relationship. Each chapter gets straight to the heart of relationship issues and provides the know how to make change happen.” – Chelsea Wells Filled with moments to make you laugh, stories to inspire you, and insights to find effective solutions, these pages contain tools for every relationship you face. Developed from decades of research and clinical experience, Dr. Nealy Brown has introduced thousands across the globe to these life changing truths. Learn how to navigate difficult situations, quickly end conflicts, and touch cold hearts, even in your most challenging relationships, through simple, practical methods. Discover true stories of people facing impossible bosses, shattered marriages, and distant kids, and the steps that lead to amazing relationships where you never before thought it was possible. Restore your marriage even after your spouse has walked out. Heal that relationship with your teenager who’s slipping away. Revive your work life in the job you dread to face each day. Strengthen your healthy relationships even further.
Senate Documents
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Author :
language : en
Publisher:
Release Date : 1877
Senate Documents written by and has been published by this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 1877 with categories.