What I D Say To The Martians
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What I D Say To The Martians
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Author : Jack Handey
language : en
Publisher: Hachette UK
Release Date : 2008-04-08
What I D Say To The Martians written by Jack Handey and has been published by Hachette UK this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2008-04-08 with Humor categories.
Jack Handey is one of America's favorite humorists, from his New Yorker pieces to his Deep Thoughts books and Saturday Night Live sketches. Now, in What I'd Say to the Martians, Handey regales readers with his incredible wit and wacky musings.
Martians Are People Too
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Author : Robert Hirschfeld
language : en
Publisher: Benchmark Education Company
Release Date : 2011
Martians Are People Too written by Robert Hirschfeld and has been published by Benchmark Education Company this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2011 with Juvenile Fiction categories.
Find out about two children who live on Mars.
Disquiet Please
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Author : David Remnick
language : en
Publisher: Random House
Release Date : 2008-11-18
Disquiet Please written by David Remnick and has been published by Random House this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2008-11-18 with Humor categories.
The New Yorker is, of course, a bastion of superb essays, influential investigative journalism, and insightful arts criticism. But for eighty years, it’s also been a hoot. In fact, when Harold Ross founded the legendary magazine in 1925, he called it “a comic weekly,” and while it has grown into much more, it has also remained true to its original mission. Now an uproarious sampling of its funny writings can be found in a hilarious new collection, one as satirical and witty, misanthropic and menacing, as the first, Fierce Pajamas. From the 1920s onward–but with a special focus on the latest generation–here are the humorists who set the pace and stirred the pot, pulled the leg and pinched the behind of America. S. J. Perelman unearths the furious letters of a foreign correspondent in India to the laundry he insists on using in Paris (“Who charges six francs to wash a cummerbund?!”). Woody Allen recalls the “Whore of Mensa,” who excites her customers by reading Proust (or, if you want, two girls will explain Noam Chomsky). Steve Martin’s pill bottle warns us of side effects ranging from hair that smells of burning tires to teeth receiving radio broadcasts. Andy Borowitz provides his version of theater-lobby notices (“In Act III, there is full frontal nudity, but not involving the actor you would like to see naked”). David Owen’s rules for dating his ex-wife start out magnanimous and swiftly disintegrate into sarcasm, self-loathing, and rage, and Noah Baumbach unfolds a history of his last relationship in the form of Zagat reviews. Meanwhile, off in a remote “willage” in Normandy, David Sedaris is drowning a mouse (“This was for the best, whether the mouse realized it or not”). Plus asides, fancies, rebukes, and musings from Patty Marx, Calvin Trillin, Bruce McCall, Garrison Keillor, Veronica Geng, Ian Frazier, Roy Blount, Jr., and many others. If laughter is the best medicine, Disquiet, Please is truly a wonder drug.
The Secret Martians
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Author : Jack Sharkey
language : en
Publisher: Serapis Classics
Release Date : 2017-09-21
The Secret Martians written by Jack Sharkey and has been published by Serapis Classics this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2017-09-21 with Fiction categories.
MASTER SPY OF THE RED PLANET Jery Delvin had a most unusual talent. He could detect the flaws in any scheme almost on sight—even where they had eluded the best brains in the ad agency where he worked. So when the Chief of World Security told him that he had been selected as the answer to the Solar System's greatest mystery, Jery assumed that it was because of his mental agility. But when he got to Mars to find out why fifteen boys had vanished from a spaceship in mid-space, he found out that even his quick mind needed time to pierce the maze of out-of-this-world double-dealing. For Jery had become a walking bomb, and when he set himself off, it would be the end of the whole puzzle of THE SECRET MARTIANS—with Jery as the first to go! Jack Sharkey decided to be a writer nineteen years ago, in the Fourth Grade, when he realized all at once that "someone wrote all those stories in the textbooks." While everyone else looked forward variously to becoming firemen, cowboys, and trapeze artists, Jack was devouring every book he could get his hands on, figuring that "if I put enough literature into my head, some of it might overflow and come out." After sixteen years of education, Jack found himself teaching high school English in Chicago, a worthwhile career, but "not what one would call zesty." After a two-year Army hitch, and a year in advertising "sublimating my urge to write things for cash," Jack moved to New York, determined to make a career of full-time fiction-writing. Oddly enough, it worked out, and he now does nothing else. He says, "I'd like to say I do this for fulfillment, or for cash, or because it's my destiny; however, the real reason (same as that expressed by Jean Kerr) is that this kind of stay-at-home self-employment lets me sleep late in the morning."
Martians Go Home
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Author : Fredric Brown
language : en
Publisher: Hachette UK
Release Date : 2011-09-29
Martians Go Home written by Fredric Brown and has been published by Hachette UK this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2011-09-29 with Fiction categories.
THEY WERE GREEN, THEY WERE LITTLE, THEY WERE BALD AS BILLIARD BALLS AND THEY WERE EVERYWHERE! Luke Devereaux was a science fiction writer, holed up in a desert shack waiting for inspiration. He was the first to see a Martian - but he certainly wasn't the last. It was estimated that one billion of them had arrived - one to every three human beings on Earth. Obnoxious green creatures who could be seen and heard (but not harmed) and who probed private sex lives as shamelessly as they exposed government secrets. No one knew why they had come. No one knew how to make them go away - except perhaps, Luke Devereaux. Unfortunately he was going slightly bananas, so it wouldn't be easy. But for a science fiction writer nothing was impossible...
The Martians Of Oakland
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Author : AngeLoner
language : en
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Release Date : 2016-02-19
The Martians Of Oakland written by AngeLoner and has been published by AuthorHouse this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2016-02-19 with Fiction categories.
I started writing this book in 1991, I'm done now is 2015. This book is experiences that I have lived through. I can tell you that everything I say about the Martian's is true, I am not lieing. I had not seen the Egyptian drawing's until well into the year's 2000, but when I saw one of there wall drawing's of the people whom are half person and half snake like, well that is what the Martian's looked like, the Martian's were small, perhap's about 15 inches long. Toward's the end of my book I write about certain unbelievable thing's I've seen, and yes I had seen them. Read of what I have witnessed and there was actual physical proof of the Martian's that lived in my car I owned and drove around back in the day.
Marsbound
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Author : Joe Haldeman
language : en
Publisher: Hachette UK
Release Date : 2012-12-14
Marsbound written by Joe Haldeman and has been published by Hachette UK this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2012-12-14 with Fiction categories.
Young Carmen Dula and her family are embarking on the adventure of a lifetime - they are going to Mars. But Carmen isn't so sure she wants to. After training for a year and preparing to leave on the six-month journey, she finds that the initial excitement has given way to both trepidation and frustration. Once there, however, Carmen realizes that things are not so different from Earth. There are chores, lessons, and oppressive authority figures. All of that leads her to venture out into the bleak Mars landscape alone, where an accident takes her to the edge of death - and she is saved by an angel. An angel with too many arms and legs, a head that looks like a potato gone bad - and a message for the newly arrived inhabitants of Mars: We were here first...
Last Day On Mars
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Author : Kevin Emerson
language : en
Publisher: HarperCollins
Release Date : 2017-02-14
Last Day On Mars written by Kevin Emerson and has been published by HarperCollins this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2017-02-14 with Juvenile Fiction categories.
“Last Day on Mars is thrillingly ambitious and imaginative. Like a lovechild of Gravity and The Martian, it's a rousing space opera for any age, meticulously researched and relentlessly paced, that balances action, science, humor, and most importantly, two compelling main characters in Liam and Phoebe. A fantastic start to an epic new series.” —Soman Chainani, New York Times bestselling author of the School for Good and Evil series “Emerson's writing explodes off the page in this irresistible space adventure, filled with startling plot twists, diabolical aliens, and (my favorite!) courageous young heroes faced with an impossible task.” —Lisa McMann, New York Times bestselling author of the Unwanteds series It is Earth year 2213—but, of course, there is no Earth anymore. Not since it was burned to a cinder by the sun, which has mysteriously begun the process of going supernova. The human race has fled to Mars, but this was only a temporary solution while we have prepared for a second trip: a one-hundred-fifty-year journey to a distant star, our best guess at where we might find a new home. Liam Saunders-Chang is one of the last humans left on Mars. The son of two scientists who have been racing against time to create technology vital to humanity’s survival, Liam, along with his friend Phoebe, will be on the last starliner to depart before Mars, like Earth before it, is destroyed. Or so he thinks. Because before this day is over, Liam and Phoebe will make a series of profound discoveries about the nature of time and space and find out that the human race is just one of many in our universe locked in a dangerous struggle for survival.
The Truth About Martians
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Author : Melissa Savage
language : en
Publisher: Chicken House
Release Date : 2019-01-03
The Truth About Martians written by Melissa Savage and has been published by Chicken House this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2019-01-03 with Juvenile Fiction categories.
Mylo knows there's no such thing as Martians - at least, until a flying saucer crash-lands next to his family's New Mexico farm. Desperate to be as brave as his older brother Obie - who passed away over a year ago - Mylo has to investigate.
The Stench Of Honolulu
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Author : Jack Handey
language : en
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Release Date : 2013-07-16
The Stench Of Honolulu written by Jack Handey and has been published by Grand Central Publishing this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2013-07-16 with Fiction categories.
The legendary Deep Thoughts and New Yorker humorist Jack Handey is back with his very first novel-a hilarious, absurd, far-flung adventure tale. THE STENCH OF HONOLOLU Are you a fan of books in which famous tourist destinations are repurposed as unlivable hellholes for no particular reason? Read on! Jack Handey's exotic tale is full of laugh-out-loud twists and unforgettable characters whose names escape me right now. A reliably unreliable narrator and his friend, who is some other guy, need to get out of town. They have a taste for adventure, so they pay a visit to a relic of bygone days-a travel agent-and discover an old treasure map. She might have been a witch, by the way. Our heroes soon embark on a quest for the Golden Monkey, which takes them into the mysterious and stinky foreign land of Honolulu. There, they meet untold dangers, confront strange natives, kill and eat Turtle People, kill some other things and people, eat another thing, and discover the ruins of ancient civilizations. As our narrator says, "The ruins were impressive. But like so many civilizations, they forgot the rule that might have saved them: Don't let vines grow all over you."