Autobiography Of A Fat Bride
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Autobiography Of A Fat Bride
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Villard
Release Date : 2003-07-08
Autobiography Of A Fat Bride written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Villard this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2003-07-08 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
The author of the New York Times bestseller The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club tackles her biggest challenge yet: grown-up life. In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air-conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony. From her mother's grade-school warning to avoid kids in tie-dyed shirts because their hippie parents spent their food money on drugs and art supplies; to her night-before-the-wedding panic over whether her religion is the one where you step on the glass; to her unfortunate overpreparation for the mandatory drug-screening urine test at work; to her audition as a Playboy centerfold as research for a newspaper story, Autobiography of a Fat Bride has the same zits-and-all candor and outrageous humor that made Idiot Girls an instant cult phenomenon. In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie contemplates family, home improvement, and the horrible tyrannies of cosmetic saleswomen. She finds that life doesn't necessarily get any easier as you get older. But it does get funnier.
I Love Everybody And Other Atrocious Lies
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Villard
Release Date : 2004-06-08
I Love Everybody And Other Atrocious Lies written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Villard this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2004-06-08 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
Here are more scathingly funny tales from the wild side! Laurie Notaro survived the debauched ride of her twenties and the bumpy road to matrimony. Now she’s ready to take on the thirtysomething years . . . and almost middle age has never been more hilarious. Laurie is married, mortgaged, and now—miraculously—employed in the corporate world, discovering that bosses come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of mental stability. After maxing out her last good credit card at Banana Republic, she’s dressed for success and ready to face the jungle: surviving feral, six-foot-plus Gretchen (“Three Thousand Faces of Eve”) before battling the overbearing, overstuffed (in way-too-small pants) new mom Suzzi, who ruthlessly cancels Laurie’s newspaper column and learns that payback can be a bitch. Laurie also explores the backstabbing world of preschoolers at a Halloween party, the X-rated madness of a family trip to Disneyland, and the pressure from her QVC-addicted mother and the rest of the world to reproduce. But while losing more friends to babies than to booze, she realizes there’s a plus side: at least for a couple of months she gets to be the thinner friend. I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies) is Laurie Notaro at her deliciously quirky best. Can a woman prone to what her loved ones might term “meltdowns” (she considers them “Opportunities to Enlighten”) put a smile on her face and love everybody? Take a guess.
We Thought You Would Be Prettier
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Villard
Release Date : 2005-04-19
We Thought You Would Be Prettier written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Villard this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2005-04-19 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.
The Post Office Lady With The Dragon Tattoo
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Villard
Release Date : 2011-06-27
The Post Office Lady With The Dragon Tattoo written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Villard this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2011-06-27 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
I had been dreading this day for more than a year. Everyone’s favorite Idiot Girl, Laurie Notaro, is very close to wearing out her welcome in her hometown of Eugene, Oregon. Just a year ago, she was eighty-sixed from the local satellite post office for buying too many two-cent stamps (“The post office lady looked at me like I had just asked her if she wanted to buy my sex tape”). Now Notaro, needing to send an important care package to her nephew, returns to the scene of the non-crime—which is located inside a drugstore that is stocked with everything from Hello Kitty trinkets to fake poo to “the largest collection of aging candy on the West Coast.” Will the post office lady who banned her the first time around kick her to the curb, or will Laurie use her Idiot Girl wiles to work her way back into the Mean Lady’s good graces? In this hilarious story, New York Times bestselling author Laurie Notaro’s signature pluck and irresistible candor are on full display and will have you laughing out loud.
Housebroken
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Release Date : 2016-07-12
Housebroken written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Ballantine Books this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2016-07-12 with Humor categories.
“If Laurie Notaro’s books don’t inspire pants-wetting fits of laughter, then please consult your physician, because, clearly, your funny bone is broken.”—Jen Lancaster, author of I Regret Nothing #1 New York Times bestselling author Laurie Notaro isn’t exactly a domestic goddess—unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband’s daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team (her husband’s not on it). Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport). Housebroken is a rollicking new collection of essays showcasing her irreverent wit and inability to feel shame. From defying nature in the quest to make her own Twinkies, to begging her new neighbors not to become urban livestock keepers, to teaching her eight-year-old nephew about hoboes, Notaro recounts her best efforts—and hilarious failures—in keeping a household inches away from being condemned. After all, home wasn’t built in a day. Praise for Laurie Notaro “Notaro is a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.”—The Plain Dealer “Hilarious, fabulously improper, and completely relatable, Notaro is the queen of funny.”—Celia Rivenbark, author of Rude Bitches Make Me Tired “Notaro is direct and self-deprecating, and her disastrous attempts to sew a dress and make jerky treats for her dog are relatable and funny.”—Library Journal
The Idiot Girl And The Flaming Tantrum Of Death
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Villard
Release Date : 2008-06-24
The Idiot Girl And The Flaming Tantrum Of Death written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Villard this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2008-06-24 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity—and leave readers doubled over with laughter. Need proof? Check out The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death and try not to bust a gut. Join Notaro as she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes and in similarly congested areas; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired—resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door. In Notaro’s world, strangers are stranger than fiction. One must always check the hotel bathroom for hobo hairs and consciously remember not to stare at old men with giant man-boobies. And then there are the lessons she has learned the hard way: Though it may seem like a good idea, it’s best not to hire a tweaked-out homeless guy to clean up your yard. The Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.
Fat Girl
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Author : Judith Moore
language : en
Publisher: Penguin
Release Date : 2005-03-03
Fat Girl written by Judith Moore and has been published by Penguin this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2005-03-03 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
A Top Ten Nonfiction Book of 2005 (Entertainment Weekly) For any woman who has ever had a love/hate relationship with food and with how she looks; for anyone who has knowingly or unconsciously used food to try to fill the hole in his heart or soothe the craggy edges of his psyche, Fat Girl is a brilliantly rendered, angst-filled coming-of-age story of gain and loss. From the lush descriptions of food that call to mind the writings of M.F.K. Fisher at her finest, to the heartbreaking accounts of Moore’s deep longing for family and a sense of belonging and love, Fat Girl stuns and shocks, saddens and tickles. “Searingly honest without affectation… Moore emerged from her hellish upbringing as a kind of softer Diane Arbus, wielding pen instead of camera.”—The Seattle Times “Frank, often funny—intelligent and entertaining.”—People (starred review) “God, I love this book. It is wise, funny, painful, revealing, and profoundly honest.”—Anne Lamott “Judith Moore grabs the reader by the collar, and shakes up our notion of life in the fat lane.”—David Sedaris “Stark… lyrical, and often funny, Judith Moore ambushes you on the very first page, and in short order has lifted you up and broken your heart.”—Newsweek “A slap-in-the-face of a book—courageous, heartbreaking, fascinating, and darkly funny.”—Augusten Burroughs
Glimpses Of Phoenix
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Author : David William Foster
language : en
Publisher: McFarland
Release Date : 2013-04-17
Glimpses Of Phoenix written by David William Foster and has been published by McFarland this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2013-04-17 with History categories.
Part of the self-image of Phoenix is that the city has no history and that anything of importance happened yesterday. Also that Phoenix, the Arizona state capital, is a "clean" city (despite a past of police corruption and social oppression). The "real" Phoenix, easygoing, sun-drenched, a place of ever-expanding development and economic growth, guarantees, it is said, an enviable lifestyle, low taxes, and unfettered personal freedom and opportunity. Little of this is true. Phoenix has been described as one of the least sustainable cities in the country. This sixth largest urban area of the United States has an alarmingly superficial and tourism-oriented discourse among its leaders. This book examines a series of narrative works (novels, theater, chronicles, investigative reporting, personal accounts, editorial cartooning, even a children's television program) that question this discourse in a frequently stinging fashion. The works examined are anchored in a critical understanding of the dominant urban myths of Greater Phoenix, and an awareness of how all the newness, modernity and fun-in-the-sun mentality mask a uniquely dystopian human experience.
Excuse Me While I Disappear Tales Of Midlife Mayhem
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Little a
Release Date : 2022-11
Excuse Me While I Disappear Tales Of Midlife Mayhem written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Little a this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2022-11 with Biography & Autobiography categories.
A laugh-out-loud spin on the realities, perks, opportunities, and inevitable courses of midlife. Laurie Notaro has proved everyone wrong: she didn't end up in rehab, prison, or cremated at a tender age. She just went gray. At past fifty, every hair's root is a symbol of knowledge (she knows how to use a landline), experience (she rode in a car with no seat belts), and superpowers (a gray-haired lady can get away with anything). Though navigating midlife is initially upsetting--the cracking noises coming from her new old body, receiving regular junk mail from mortuaries--Laurie accepts it. And then some. With unintentional abandon, she shoplifts a bag of russet potatoes. Heckles a rude driver from her beat-up Prius. And engages in epic trolling on Nextdoor.com. That, says Laurie, is the brilliance of growing older. With each passing day, you lose an equivalent amount of fear. And the #1 New York Times bestselling author has never been so fearlessly funny as she is in this empowering, candid, and enlightening memoir about living life on the other side of fifty.
An Idiot Girl S Christmas
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Author : Laurie Notaro
language : en
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
Release Date : 2005
An Idiot Girl S Christmas written by Laurie Notaro and has been published by Random House Digital, Inc. this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2005 with Christmas categories.
Humorist Laurie Notaro, author of "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club," returns with a collection of the most hilarious stories from the most wonderful--and dreadful--time of the year.